credit to: http://www.gymnationsport.com/JSP_7716.jpg

子晴 (化名)今年八歲,平常跟隨著自己的興趣去學習,一直都沒有上學,而在日常生活中自主學習。子晴最大的興趣是體操,她六歲半時開始學體操,短短兩年間,她掌握得非常好,進歩神速,最近在一個由三個體操會合辦比賽中。她奪得了三個金牌及一個個人全能獎。

 

重點不在於她奪獎這事實,而在於她在整個過程中的心理狀態。比賽後,子晴媽媽問她:「你比賽時有沒有很緊張?有沒有害怕?」子晴有點不解,單純地反問:「吓?為什麼要害怕?」對她來說,做體操就是做她最喜愛的事,她從來沒有競爭的壓力。


子晴媽媽最初認為要多練習才會有好表現,因此在比賽前幾天,問了她好幾次:「要不要練習一下?」她每次都說:「不用練了,已經很熟練了。」當時媽媽心想:「好吧,讓她知道練習和不練習的分別也好。」比賽當天,子晴去了一個完全陌生的體操場地,她沒有去試跳彈板,也沒有再練習,就開始比賽。結果,她在跳馬項目奪得全場最高分。

子晴媽媽也覺得很震憾,她不明白為什麼她不用練習,不用在新場地試跳,就可以發揮超水準表現?媽媽細心想想後,她說子晴六歲前,沒有上幼稚園,每星期總有幾天自由快樂地在遊樂場玩,每次都是玩到她覺得夠為止才離開。媽媽表示,也許當女兒無拘無束地在遊樂場爬來爬去的時候,不知不覺就鍛練了她的臂力,以及身體柔軟度,有助她學習體操。

credit to:http://hqhdwalls.com/uploads/wallpaper/thumb/cut/cute-smiling-girl-with-gift-box-wallpaper-53ca80e9f205f.jpg當她又想起子晴二、三歲時,有一個階段常常專注地玩空盒子,每天可以玩上一小時以上。後來有一次,媽媽需要找一個盒子來裝載一件物件,但找不到一個合適大小的。子晴只看了該物件一眼,便馬上找來一個體積剛剛好的空盒給媽媽!媽媽當時很驚訝女兒的空間感那麼強!媽媽說,可能是子晴特強的空間感,有助她掌握體操動作。

常常有人問子晴媽媽,子晴不上學,到底學到什麼呢?當媽媽舉這些例子時,別人總會表示「在遊樂場玩哪會學到什麼」?「學到空間感有什麼用啊」?然而,我們憑什麼去判斷小孩的玩意「有沒有用」?不少人在兒時被逼學習一些大人認定「有用」的東西,但往往結果是學不好,或者是學了,但最後發現完全沒有用。

事實上,子晴媽媽並沒有刻意培養女兒成為體操健將,她只是從小順應女兒的興趣,而當女兒做許多在一般人眼中「沒有用而且多餘的事」時,她雖然也不能確定那些事「有沒有用」,但她不會干涉,只是信任女兒和支持她。這次比賽後,子晴媽媽更明白到,女兒原來這麼清楚自己,她日後應該要更信任她。

體操教練曾經說,子晴六歲多才開始學體操,但她的能力優越過不少四歲就開始學的同學。因此,媽媽認為孩子的能力,跟他學習年齡沒有關係,最重要的是讓孩子跟隨自己的熱情。子晴媽媽最感恩的,是女兒很了解自己,而且她不會視比賽為競爭,只是全情投入地輕鬆參與,享受過程。女兒能輕鬆面對比賽,因為她從體操裡感受到自己內在的能力,這跟獎項沒有關係。這種自信,是從骨子裡滲出來的,沒有任何人可以將它拿走。


Ching, who is an eight year old girl, has been unschooling in Hong Kong since her early childhood. Instead of going to school, she follows her interests and learns from daily life. When she was six and a half, she found her passion in gymnastics. After practising on a regular basis for two years, Ching has mastered many gymnastics skills. Recently, she won three gold medals in individual events and was the All Round Champion in a gymnastics competition.

credit to: http://ak4.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/1501760/preview/stock-footage-little-girl-and-boy-sway-on-hang-down-steps-at-playground.jpgAfter the competition, Ching's mom asked her, “Were you nervous? Were you scared?” Ching innocently replied, “No. Why would I?” Gymnastics is something that she is passionate about. She didn't feel like she was competing, nor did she feel pressure to win.

When the competition was approaching, Ching didn't do extra practice. Her mother reminded her a few times, “Don't you need to practice more before the competition?” But on each occasion, Ching replied, “No, I don't need to. I'm well prepared.” Mom decided to let her bear the consequence of not practicing, assuming Ching wouldn't do so well without extra practicing. The competition took place in a gymnasium which was a totally new setting for Ching. Without testing the springboard and rehearsing, she got the highest marks in the Vault event.

Ching's mom was absolutely amazed by the result! She wondered why her daughter could perform so well even without extra practice and rehearsing in the new setting. After thinking for a while, she said that Ching spent most of her time in playgrounds before the age of six, since she didn't go to school. She simply played freely until she had had enough. Ching's mother said the free play in the playgrounds might have helped her to build up her arm strength and her physical flexibility, which became an advantage in gymnastics.

Ching's mom also recalled that when Ching was around 2 or 3 years old, there was a period of time when Ching was very focused on playing with some empty boxes. She could play with them for more than an hour every day. One time, her mother needed a box to carry an object, but she couldn't find one in the right size. Ching then took a look at the object, and found an empty box with exactly the right size for her mom! At that moment, the mother was surprised that Ching has such a good spatial sense. She believes that this strong spatial sense also contributes to her daughter's mastery of gymnastics. 

Ching's mother was asked many times, “What does your daughter learn if she doesn't go to school?” When she tells people about the above examples, they often react like this,

credit to: http://embracingbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Mom-Daughter-Reading.jpg

“Playing in the playgrounds is playing, not learning”, or “What good is it to have a strong spatial sense?” In fact, who can judge whether a child's play will be useful or not in the future? Many of us grew up learning things that adults thought were useful. But we either didn't learn them well, or we learned, but found out in the end that they were totally useless.


In fact, Ching's mom has never intended to bring up Ching as a gymnastic athlete. She simply let her daughter follow her interests. When Ching engaged in those “useless” activities, her mother would not intervene. She simply trusted her daughter and supported her, even though she had no answer whether those activities were “useful” or not. After this incident, Ching's mom realized that she has underestimated how well her daughter knows about herself, and how she should have trusted Ching about how much practice she needed.

Ching's gymnastics coach stated that Ching mastered the skills better than those who started gymnastics two years earlier than her. As a result, Ching's mom believes that a child's ability has nothing to do with how young she starts learning. What is more important is to let the child follow her passion. Ching's mom feels very grateful that her daughter knows herself so well, and she didn't treat the tournament as an aggressive competition. Instead, she enjoyed the whole process and was very relaxed. Through gymnastics, Ching feels her inner strength, which is not determined by winning trophies. Her self-confidence comes from within which can't be taken away by anyone
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